This is story, this is my song.

I thought that these next few days were going to be very stressful and full of work and boredom, but I was certainly wrong about today.

I woke up relatively early to take a shower and wash off all of the sweat and scene that was all over me.

Then I finished my Exodus Outline. It felt really good to finish it, better than Genesis felt. I guess I was more confident in my work this time around.

Directing class was very fun, it always is. I hope that our teacher enjoys our project, I think we did a good job staying on task.

We had our first math test today. It was different than I expected, but I think I did well on it.

I snoozed in Old Testament. I felt bad about it. Talley is a great, wise man, but his voice just puts me to sleep. It must be the climate of the room. Chilly. Wonderful.

Work was very good. I was able to do the entire kidnapping video for youth group, something I was really stressing about finishing.

I went to a meeting for a film I am going to be acting in. It is a very, very intense film. Very raw. To be honest I am a little scared about acting in it, but at the same time I am really excited to take on this role. I think it will push me as an actor a lot, and hopefully my performance will be good and edify the film. It is a very performance driven movie, so if I suck, the movie sucks, and vice versa. Hopefully vice versa will be the result.

I got back to the room and showed David the kidnapping video. He enjoyed it. The look on some of the students' faces at the time of awakening is priceless! Tomorrow will be a grand day!

Caitlyn, Heather, David, Clay, and I all went out for coffee soon after I returned. It was a lot of fun. I enjoy and truly appreciate each of theirs' company very much. Definitely a great time. I got to show Heather and Caitlyn the video as well, and they enjoyed it. I'm glad they did, I like it when others enjoy my films. It gives the films purpose, and therefore gives me purpose in creating them.

This is really what I strive for as a film major. I want to make truth-saturated movies that move people. That change their thinking. I think it's very difficult to make a film that can be mainstream yet have a fantastic message, but I think that that is what many people seek when they go to the movies. The industry is so riddled with garbage, truth definitely has the potential to penetrate into the mainstream of Hollywood. I hope to be one of the initiators of this movement so that the Lord can receive glory in Hollywood, not the worldly lusts of the flesh that currently receive the glory. But this is obviously up to the Lord, and if this is not what He has for me, than so be it.

Clay and I were talking about this just now-about trusting in the Lord as far as future goes. I honestly feel like I try to direct my future so much, but I need to let go of my own desires and latch onto what the Lord has for me and onto what will glorify Him.

In reading in Exodus for OT, this has really become something that I've realized I need a lot of work in. It's funny because I always wonder how the Israelites could have so many doubts when the Lord was obviously on their side and directing their path, but I realize that I am so much like them, perhaps even worse. I always make decisions based what I feel would be best and on what I feel would advance my future. I veer off of the path that God has for me only to realize that I become completely worthless and without purpose. I find myself becoming impatient at God when He doesn't explicitly reveal the plan He has for me right at the instant I want to know.

I need to let go and let God take control and trust in His will. His will will bring me the most fulfillment, the most purpose. I need to realize that it is when I veer off of the road that I become over-stressed and over-burdened and unhappy. I need to trust in what He has for me, for even though I may not be able to see it, God knows exactly where I need to be in my future.

I need to rest in this assurance, not stress in not knowing.

Rest assured, Lee, rest assured. That needs to be what I tell myself when I fear about the future or simply feel like I need to take control.

If I can do this, than God will be able to use me to my fullest, and that is the ultimate thing that I desire most.

Praise the Lord for His blessed assurance!

Blessed assurance, what a great song. I feel like singing it, but instead I'll post the lyrics. They are rich. Ask me to sing it sometime and maybe I just might.

Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

Ah yes, praise the Lord! What a beautiful song.

Filled with His goodness and lost in His love,

Lee