So I hope it makes you happy.
First off, I'd like to say that I love my friends. I am blessed with such an array of friends that I don't think I could be any better off. I love conversations with friends, hanging out with friends, and being utterly goofy and annoying with friends. I'm glad you put up with my anachronisms. It is a word, sweet.
So thank you for being great friends.
Yesterday was good. Class, youth, the like. Bad Tofu salad. Haha.
Today. Now today was good. Not as good as I'm making it sound, but good.
Woke way later than I wanted. I hopefully won't do that tomorrow.
Went to speech and it was pointless.
Went to lunch and it was delicious.
Went to math and it was pointless.
Returned. Played pool. Ended up shooting balls at each other (David and me).
ER. CMA.
Dinner with Caitlyn, Heather, and David. It was a good time. I ate (most) what was on my tray. Hooray.
Hung out in 408 for a good while. Was goofy. Was fun.
Sox annihilated. 13-1. I heard Dr. Corey was in the Stewart lobby watching, I'm going to see if he is around tomorrow. woot.
Went to a few meetings for film and those both went well.
Went to band practice and had a frustrating but great time. Frustrating because I was a little bit slow tonight, not my usual self behind the kit. I was pretty bummed about this, but I really love the guys and playing with them, so it was definitely worth it.
Practiced late. Packed up and stowed and parked. Here I am.
I'm way tired. I was pensive on the walk back to hope. I feel like there is so much that is out of whack with the world and with my life. Granted, I am blessed with a ton, but it seems that weird attitudes or moods or feelings or thoughts that I get sometimes are just out of whack with what God wants and with what would glorify Him.
I guess that's simply why we need God then. I feel like I'm too unconscious about it in my daily life though, that I don't pay enough attention to what I do and say and whether it will glorify God or just myself or perhaps nobody.
I need to love more.
I miss my parents. I miss my dog. I miss the familiar smell of home. Sometimes I wish I could grow up all over again.
But that's not where I am. That's not where God will use me right now. God can use me here at Biola, at Bethany, here. I wish I knew how I could serve Him better. I wish I had a better attitude about serving Him. I wish I didn't get caught up in being lazy and actually put effort into my faith and life.
So many wishes. So much feeling sorry for myself.
I need to change it. I need to live in the now for God. With God, through God, by God, for God-I need to change it.
That's my prayer today.
Revelation 5:
Then I saw in the right hand of him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals. 2 And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, “Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?” 3 And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it, 4 and I began to weep loudly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it. 5 And one of the elders said to me, “Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.”
6 And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. 7 And he went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who was seated on the throne. 8 And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9 And they sang a new song, saying,
“Worthy are you to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation,
10 and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God,
and they shall reign on the earth.”
11 Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, 12 saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” 13 And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” 14 And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped.
I am not worthy of grace, yet You still gaze upon my face and hand me the gift that is salvation. I cannot pay my debt, yet You look at me as though I am free.
Take me to Your world where mercy and grace is in the air.
Where no man shall ever sleep but instead be more alive than they'll ever be.
Where it is not time and expectation but love and fulfillment that are substance.
Where the only thing tangible is the touch from the hands that saved us all.
Oh how I long for the day.
How I long for the day when faith will be easy and love will be free.
But for now, heaven can wait when the earth's in this state of disrepair and disregard.
Give me the strength to build up Your kingdom, Lord.
Give me the courage to build it up again.
Oh Israel, hear our cry. You have not been forsaken, you've only wandered from the voice.
Come back onto the path and edify the choice that God made to call you His own.
Come back to Me, Oh Israel, you've not wandered to far. You'll never wander to far.
You murdered me. You watched me die. But all of it was so that you could be saved from the very actions that nailed Me on the tree.
Come back to the place where the only thing tangible is the touch from the hands that saved us all.
Come back, Oh world.
Come back.
Lee
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